Learning about Temptation

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Last Sunday, Pastor Adams taught about 3 principles that are necessary to "conquer" temptation, or at least be ready for it so that you can defeat it, one temptation at a time. 

The principles?

1.  Be filled with the Spirit.

I absolutely loved the analogy that Pastor Adams used; shouting "I know karate!" will not save us from an attacker any more than shouting "I've read the bible!!!" will help us conquer temptation. we need to do as Jesus did and remember, retrieve and repeat the actual verses that we have hidden in our hearts...

Which means, (ahem) we need to spend time in and memorize the Bible!! This is an area that I have been really thinking about and wanting to work on. There is so much wisdom in the bible!

I know! I know! Profound, right?!?!  ....wisdom in the Word of God...go figure!

I have been helping my 8 year old daughter with her memory verse for church, over the past couple of months, and ya know something???  I have memorized, them, too!  I have also had many opportunities to repeat them to myself, to my children and to friends, in remembrance, for teaching and for encouragement!

Next step? Work harder with all of my children in this discipline and continue to develop the skill for myself, as well.


2.  Know where you will be tempted...

Easy... everywhere!!! 

I am often tempted to eat more than I should, the things that I shouldn't, because they are just so good!! 

I am tempted to disrespect my man, because, ya know, he's human and imperfect (ahem...like me).

I am tempted often to skirt the responsibilities around my home and with the children because I deserve some "me" time, right?!?

The temptations go on and on and on, but I should be sure that Satan will definitely tempt me in the very same ways he tempted Adam, Eve, and Jesus.

He will use my flesh, my eyes and my mind to convince me that there are things that I want or need and just have to have.

He will try his best to convince me that God is holding out on me, or in the very least is just sitting by "watching" with disinterest. 

3. Suffering

EW!  Where is the "unlike" button?  While I can't speak for everyone, I am not a fan of the suffering "bit".  Not at all, but I can say that on the days of what I could describe as my most difficult days, there has always been a great sense of peace and/or joy that can only come from one place.... "God". 

Pretty sure, that this also means that we sacrifice some of the things that we think we "need" and wait for God's timing. Which leads me to another of Pastor Adams' awesome points that really made me think...

ALL of the trees in the garden were good.  ALL of the fruit was good.  God said so, Himself.  He created it.  It was ALL good!  God wasn't keeping Adam and Eve from goodness.  He wasn't witholding anything!!!  He was protecting them.  Isn't it so much easier to understand when we think of our own children and the treasure we give and/or keep for them?!? 

Now, I need to remember it for myself! 

Satan's big plan is to trick us into living our life without God, while we sometimes mistakening think that we are living it "for" God! 

He will stop at nothing to destroy our lives, our relationships, our persons.  He will not stop until ALL that God has created is destroyed...our marriages, our families, and our reputations. 


Watch Pastor Adams' message in it's entirety, here.

Grandma's Prayers

As many know, my Gaby has eye surgery scheduled for August 20th.  The surgery is needed to correct a "lazy" eye which is a result of damage done to the 3rd cranial nerve during a horseback riding accident (during which she was wearing her helmet) and subsequent traumatic brain injury. 

I had been praying for all to go well with surgery.  I had been praying for the surgeon.  I had been praying for Gaby. I had been praying for peace and health. 

My mom had been praying for God to provide us a way to avoid surgery all together!  Why hadn't I thought of that?!?

About 3 weeks ago, Mom called and asked if she could take Gaby to a massage therapist that she had been seeing with excellent results (another blog for another time).  My husband and I agreed to the therapy, though skeptical that it would produce the miracle results needed to eliminate the need for surgery.  Gaby had 2 different sessions in 2 different weeks, and honestly, I didn't see a difference at all.  Rafa said he thought things were improving.  I figured it was still just wishful thinking.

This week, we went to stay with my Mom, who had been trained in technique while earning continuing education credits many years ago, but had never really used it.  After working with the massage therapist on Gaby a couple of sessions, she was ready to do this herself at home. 

The morning after receiving a treatment with Mom, Gaby's eyes looked more on center.  Upon talking to Gaby we discovered that while she does still have double vision, the images are closer together than they had been.  Mom gave her another treatment that morning.  That afternoon, Gaby tried and was successful at combining the images.  For the first time since before the accident, she was able to see just one of something. Throughout the day, her eye moved back to the "lazy" position, and I began to doubt what I had seen and heard.

Yesterday morning, I noticed  that her left eye was once again much more centered.  I asked her questions about the images and their locations.  A little over a week ago, my 2nd "me" was about 2 1/2 feet to my left.  Now, "I'm" right next to me.  For the first time in almost 10 months, Gaby was able to look at one tv.  That is really important to an 8 year old, apparently.  She said she had been trying and trying to do that. 

So, for now, we have decided to cancel the surgery.  We have another appointment in October with the opthalmologist to see if there are any changes from last month.  I've seen that there are. 

Thank you for all who may have been praying Mom's prayer, for having that kind of faith.  Thank you also who have been praying for a successful surgery.  The most successful surgery is one averted.  Please keep praying that Gaby's left eye continues to improve and has lasting results! 

God has been so good to us!!

For the entire story of Gaby's accident and recovery, click here.

Hello Mornings

I want to be a faithful follower of Christ.  I want to wake up early each morning and fill my soul with His breath before I do anything else.  I do.  I really do.  Wanting doesn't get it done though.  I also want to be organized and healthy and crafty.  All of those things require work, discipline, and dedication. 

Photo Credit

I have found, over the course of my life so far, that what I need above all else is some accountability to get started and keep going.  Which is why I signed up for Hello Mornings and joined a group.  Starting August 20th, I will be committing to get up earlier each and every morning to spend some time with God.  I plan to pray and do some bible study, plan my day (by choosing 3 things that need to be done), and move my body.  Hey!  I think that by doing these things, I'm well on my way towards my wants from above, no?  Then, I plan to check in with my group and share what I am learning. 


I do have some hang ups, though.  I've tried this kind of thing before.  I have participated in several Beth Moore bible studies through my amazing church with varying levels of success.  By success I mean, getting the homework done...I have some workbooks that are virtually blank.


I do have one workbook, though, that is completely filled.  Last fall, as I was going through the Beth Moore's study, Jesus, The One and Only, I kept up with my homework and was very faithful.  As we travelled through the Book of Luke, I felt so close to my Savior.  Then, about half way through, my second oldest daughter was involved in a horseback riding accident.  She suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury and was in a coma for a little over a week.  She was in the hospital for almost a month, then in rehab for several more months.  She is doing so well. She returned to school after missing nearly 2 1/2 quarters and ended the year with all A's and B's (previously a straight A student).  Her recovery has been miraculous.  And I owe it ALL to my Lord, who selected the doctors, nurses, teachers and therapists to put in Gaby's path.  Throughout her time in the PICU and her recovery, God has been faithful with me, as well.  So many passages from the bible came to me, through loved ones and friends that I had just studied.  God provided me with so much peace.  I saw so many people that prayed for her before, during and after our ordeal.  I was shown the faithfulness of children who prayed for her.  I have been forever humbled by how others love us... how much God loves us.

Since the accident, I have gone through another bible study, but my book looks very similar to those older workbooks, with more blank lines than filled ones.  I enter into this next committment to prayer, study and time with God with excitement, joy, and a bit of trepidation.  I want to be faithful, yet when I was last faithful, trials came, as they always do. 

But, then I remember...what would I have done without Him?


If you are interested in Maximizing your Mornings, then sign up for the Hello Mornings Challenge!!!  There are still spots open!  This challenge runs from August 20th - November 16th. Check it out!

Homemade Flour Tortillas

After I realizing that I can't possibly live up to my "Summertime" Board on Pinterest...

I decided on 3 goals this summer,

1. Learn to make Flour Tortillas from scratch just like mi suegra (my mother-in-law)
2. Potty Train Jake
3. Maximize my Mornings

2 out of 3 isn't bad, right? 

I have been married for almost 12 years to a wonderful, hard working man, who just happens to be Mexican.  I have tried very hard for most of those 12 years to learn to cook food that my man loves to eat.  I started off simply enough with huevos rancheros (my style)...scrambled eggs with jalapenos, tomatoes and onions served with store bought flour tortillas and a sliced avocado on the side and graduated to more complicated dishes from Mole (from a jar) to Chile Colorado (not perfected just yet, but good none the less). 

But one recipe has always alluded me.  Try as I might, I could NOT make homemade flour tortillas to save my life.  They always ended up more crisp like a cracker than soft like a tortilla.  The flavor was good, but texture is EVERYTHING! 

So this summer, I decided to learn, or die trying!

Mi suegra was in town throughout the month of May, and I had a couple of opportunities to work with her to learn how to make these ellusive yummies.  Hers turn out great everytime (though I did see a couple of burnt edges...shhhhh). 

I tried my hand at it with my cousin helping out and they were... eh.  While they were MUCH better than any attempt I had made thus far, they weren't "quite right".  So, I called up mi querida cunada (my dear sister-in-law) and made a date to try again with her. 

She let me do all or the work while she started cooking lunch to go with our soon to be fresh tortillas.  She guided me throughout the process, tasting to see if there was enough salt, and encouraging me to add more water, even when I thought it was a big gloppy mess.  She showed me her technique for forming the small balls that will soon be worked into tortillas, and even her "rolling" method which differed from that of mi suegra.  "Everyone has their own techinque. You have to discover yours," she said, but much more beautifully in Spanish. 

There were no "real" measurements... There is a feel and a texture to the dough. 

I have made them several times since, all with slightly different results. Sometimes, they aren't as round as others, and sometimes the feel is a little off, but when MY MAN said, "this is just how I like them", well....

Flour Tortillas

1/2 bag of all purpose flour

2 heaping tablespoons baking powder (and I mean the ones you eat off of...we call them cereal spoons in our house, because my man likes to eat his cereal off of them)

salt to taste (a couple of teaspoons)

1/2 pound of lard

roughly 3 Cups of HOT, HOT water (I have to microwave mine, since my hot water heater is set to safe for the kiddies)

1. Mix dry ingredients well.

2. Cut in lard with your hands until the flour will hold a ball shape when squeezed (throughout the mixture).

3. Begin to add water (I add about 2 C to start, then add as I go to get the desired texture)...honestly this is where you call me and ask me to invite you over next time I make them, because I could not EVER get the texture down until I did it myself under instruction... SERIOUSLY!

4. Pull apart small handfulls of dough and form balls (There is a technique to this as well)..

5. Let them sit on the table while you form all balls, then starting with the first balls you formed, squish them out and start to roll with rolling pin. Push ever so slightly and (I) push up and back, then turn tortilla 1/8 of a turn and do it again, until tortilla is preferred diameter and thickness.  If they are smallish, you can make gorditas with them.  If they are thin, they make great burrito tortillas.  Worry not.

6. After rolling out all of the tortillas (if you are doing this on your own), heat skillet (I use my daughter's pancake griddle) to medium high heat.  Cook a couple of minutes or until lightly browned on both sides.  They will start to bubble up, kind of like pancakes.  Turn them over and cool a little longer on the other side. It helps to have a "plancha" or tortilla iron to weight it down. I have one that mi suegra brought me on one of her visits, but you can improvise (at my mom's house, we used a brick covered in foil and placed it inside of a foil pan for ease of handling).

7. Store wrapped in a clean cloth inside of a plastic bag at room temperature.  They keep for several days, but mine definitely start growing around day 6, so eat them up!  The kids love them with melted butter and cinnamon sugar. 

PROVECHO!



A Summer Slips Away

If you "follow" me on Pinterest, then you know that I have a HUGE board filled up to the brim of Summertime stuff. There are tons of amazing ideas and pictures and tutorials of how to have an amazing summer, crafts to create, books to read, yummies to devour. 

Photo Credit

This summer, as with most summers, I started off with so many ideas (in my head) about how this summer was going to be different. It was going to be the summer that we watched little tv and learned stuff.  We were going to go to lots of great places, like Kaleidoscope and maybe even the aquarium.  We were going to READ A LOT!  We were going to practice our math and cook and experiment and enjoy the outdoors, even when it's HOT. 

This summer has also done as so many... it has slipped away!  I am grasping desperately at the last few weeks of summer and vowing to squeeze 3 months worth of fun into them before I head back to work. 

Would you even believe that I started thinking today about planning for next summer?!? Cuz', ya know, I lack a plan!  I even penciled it onto my calendar for March...PLAN FOR SUMMER.

BUT...The summer isn't over, yet!!  And while it is way to HOT to even think about heading to my "coveted" camping vacation that we had planned for next week, we can still fill it to the brim with fun and learning, right? 

On my list to do before the end....

Visit the Sprinkler Park
Swim with Friends
Kaleidoscope
Children's Museum
Federal Reserve to learn about MONEY
and maybe...
The Aquarium

What I Learned at VBS

Last night was the first night of Vacation Bible School at my church. This week, the kiddos are learning all about being a spy for GOD!

 

It is an awesome concept, and I can't wait to see what God teaches me as well.  Last night was rough. I was shepherding, along with another "agent", the 4th and 5th graders.  It could have been a great night! I could have remembered that these kids are 9 and 10 year olds. I could have seen them as God sees them.  I could have done and thought so many things differently, but what I did was blame these kids for my rotten evening mood attitude.  They were too busy talking, pushing, hitting, shooting each other with finger guns, kicking, rough housing, and interrupting to pay attention and absorb anything.  They spoke out, instead of listening. 

I'm embarassed to admit that I didn't handle it well.  In fact, this morning, as I was going over it in my head, I was ready to quit or be reassigned, but that is when God whispered ever so gently to my soul. 

I am no different from these children.  God tries to get my attention. He tries to teach me and mold me and love on me, and I am too distracted to "absorb anything". 

God daily forgives me and continues trying to reach me.  He hasn't given up on me, yet. Thankfully, He has not reassigned Himself to another, more willing to learn "pupil". 

Tonight, I will return to those precious 4th and 5th graders with this thought in mind...  How can I show them that I love Jesus and need Him just as much as they do?

My Tower of Babel

Last Tuesday, which happened to be the day before Independence Day, my husband had his naturalization interview at the Department of Homeland Security in Kansas City, MO! While we sat in the waiting room, I experienced so many emotions. I was a little nervous (ok....a lot nervous), excited, and most of all proud. I was, and continue to be proud of my husband for having the courage to apply for naturalization!  As I looked around, I saw the most amazing "melting pot" of people. I love our country for so many reasons, and this is just one of them. In the small waiting room of 20 people or so, at least 5 different countries from all over the world were represented.

 As I listened to people speaking a variety of languages, I was reminded of Genesis 11, where God tells us about the Tower of Babel...

Tower of Babel by Lucas van Valckenborch 1595

Genesis 11: 1-9

Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. ² As people moved eastward,^[a] they found a plain in Shinar^[b] and settled there.

³ They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. ⁴ Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

⁵ But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. ⁶ The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. ⁷ Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

⁸ So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. ⁹ That is why it was called Babel^[c] —because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth.

Isn't that AWESOME and horrible all at the same time!!! They were getting a little big for their britches, so God changed things up a little, so that they (we) would HAVE to depend on HIM.  

How often do I think that I'm getting along just fine without God? If you asked me, I'd say, "Never! No way!" Many mornings, however, I show God how little I really think that I need Him, by neglecting to spend time with Him with morning studies, prayer and quiet time.  Love it when God uses my life as an object lesson to lead me back to HIM!

Train up a Child (and a Mama, too)

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Sounds great, huh?  The "problem" for me is, that I can't just pray that God trains up my kids, or that Graceway trains up my kids, I have the distinguished responsibility and priviledge to teach them, myself.

Sometimes, I've been known to put off the training until I've received it myself (ie learned, memorized and applied all of God's knowledge). Well, that is NOT going to happen in my lifetime, so I need to start (keep) training my precious ones, even with the understanding that I, on my own, am ill-equipped!!  I am so grateful to God that He will equip me, but also that He has equipped others to share their ideas and training tools. 

Have you ever had one of those moments with your kiddos, when the whole world felt out of control. You could see them "losing it", and  to make matters worse, you could feel yourself getting ready to hop on that run-away train? It happens to me all of the time, ALL OF THE TIME.  The thing is, I know that God provides all of the answers, I know that the answers are in His Word. It is just a matter of finding them. That is why I am so excited to share a new resource that I found!!  I finally ordered and received all of the materials needed to make our family's new Child Training Bible!!!  I am so excited about this!  I have seen this in several places... I pinned it on Pinterest, I read about (and signed up for) many give aways, but I simply did not win.  I did, however, talk my friend, DeAnn into ordering, too, and splitting shipping.

Yesterday, I finally had a moment to sit down with my new bible (bought one so that the cards would fit). If you buy the training kit, I recommend that you wait until it arrives to buy a bible, if you plan to buy a special family bible for the project as I did.  I would have used any number of bibles that we already have, but they were either too big or too small, and being the perfectionist that I am and to quote Goldilocks , I needed something that was "just right".  After starting, I do realize that a "too big" bible could definitely work for the project... 

Anyway, I sat down with all of the materials and started tabbing and highlighting. One of the best parts, was that Gaby wanted to sit down and tab and highlight her bible, too!  Sounds great, sweetie!!  She went ahead and highlighted this weeks bible verse for church, and then a couple of others that I mentioned, but she really wants to make a training bible, too.  I am not going to stop her... I just wish I had found this resouce sooner!!

One of the best things about this kit, is that it comes with some "child-training" instructions...the most important one for me to remember will be to "take a calm child aside" : C-A-L-M child...probably should NOT be "beating" my kids over the head with scripture while they are in the midst of their anger, fighting, defiance... Great concept to remember!

I found ALL of the stuff I needed for my project at childtrainingbible.com. Check it out!

One Pan Triple Chocolate Chip Skillet Cookie

If you are not familiar with Pinterest, then you are missing out!!! It is a member's only site where you create bulletin boards, then "pin" awesome things to them for later.  I have hundreds of recipes, crafts and home decor ideas pinned on my boards, just to name a few, but our FAVORITE pin, so far is for the One Pan Chocolate Chunk Skillet Cookie. Her recipe is great as it is, she has a step by step pictorial (picture tutorial) and her photographs are divinely better than mine, but we've changed the recipe just a teeny bit and now we definitely have a keeper! We followed her recipe almost until the end.  Honestly, we didn't have 1 C of any "one" kind of chocolate chip, so we mixed bittersweet, semi-sweet and white chocolate chips in and call it One Pan Triple Chocolate Chip Skillet Cookie.  We also bake it in a 12" cast iron skillet in a regular oven for about 15-17 minutes. 

The recipe is so easy that an 8 year old can do it!!

In fact, she did and she prefers to call it Cookie Cake.

It's even better with Vanilla Ice Cream

 (no, your eyes do not deceive. She has chocolate ice cream, but she doesn't recommend it)!!

Give it a try and come back and let me know what you think!!

The VERY BEST Part of Summer Break

Do you know what the VERY BEST part of Summer Break is?

Having 11 weeks off from work?
nope.

Long days packed with family fun?
nope.

Fireflies?
nope, though, those are REALLY GOOD and possibly a very close 2nd.

The VERY BEST part of Summer Break is that I get at least 2-3 hours of solitude in the morning to do whatever I want, some mornings I even get 3 1/2. You see, most mornings, I get up at 5:30 am to so I can walk with my friend, DeAnn (who may not want to be my friend much longer after this morning) before I get my husband up, make his lunch (yes. I'm one of THOSE wives) and kiss and hug him out the door to work by 6:30. So, then begin the Magical Moments of Summer...

What I should be doing is praying and spending time in God's Word.  I should be filling myself up so that I can then fill up my children with the glory that is the Word. More often than not, what I am doing is browsing Pinterest for crafts, recipes, and home decor ideas that I will probably never  make.  Typically, I then read some of my favorite blogs When You Rise, Dreaming Big Dreams, One Good Thing By Jillee and Inspired to Action.  I'll jump onto my Biggest Loser Challenge Team at Spark People and catch up with how my team mates are doing.  I'll call my mom and clean the kitchen (if I didn't get to it the night before) or sit outside and breathe in Summer while taking sips of my Hazelnut flavored coffee. SOMETIMES, I'll even get a load of laundry started or pull a few weeds in the garden.  Most mornings, I am listening to my favorite worship songs from my "Morning Worship" playlist... There are several songs on there,  many of which I read about while reading Maximize Your Mornings, a free ebook written by Kat over at Inspired to Action.  You simply MUST listen to Captivate Us and Invade, both by Watermark. 

YES.  I do realize that I am very blessed
a) I have summers off and
b) I have a couple of hours daily to myself

VERY BLESSED!

Do you know what happened this morning, though, when I first heard my alarm alert me to the start of my day?  I heard strange, rattley noises (like from a rattle) coming from the girls' room.  I lay very still for a few minutes, hoping that they would go away. They didn't. When the snooze alarm sounded, I growled to myself, got up, went to the bathroom to change into my exercise clothes and hissed at my 2 oldest girls to "go back to bed. Do NOT play a game. It is 5:30 IN THE MORNING!!!" Then, do you know what happened? My second born asked if she could, brace yourself, go with me?!? Um, "Heck to the NO." is what came out of my mouth, followed by, "if you think I'm a bad mom when you wake up at 8:30 or 9 in the morning, you just try to get out of bed now."

(I wonder if the'll engrave my Mother of the Year (MOTY) Award with my full given name or just first and last names...)

 I further instructed them back to bed and to sleep. As I walked out of the front door, I heard my son cry, so I harumphed back into the house to grab him up to put into the stroller for the walk (I couldn't just leave him there, crying. Besides, I knew he would be quiet).  By now, I was late...  More growling... (Yes, I am quite aware that all of this grumbling and growling is not very becoming.  DeAnn and I walked our usual 30 minutes, while I "enlightened" her, though not for the first time, on what a truly wonderful Christian mother I am, which brings us back to how grateful I am that she continues to want to be my friend... I have some serious warts!

So, after our walk, the baby (2 1/2, but will always be the "baby") and I walked into the house to hear muffled giggles and rustling blankets.  GREAT!  And...they woke up the "whiny one".  That's about 10 more shades of AWESOME!  What is a mom to do when all FOUR of her kids are up before 6 AM?  I'll tell ya what I wanted to do...I wanted to lock myself in a closet and scream and throw a big temper tantrum.  I believe that I did let a "Seriously, God, how do you expect me to spend time with YOU, now?" slip out. Then I slumped down into the couch with my arms crossed and I saw this...

Do you see it?

There. At the top.

In everything give thanks: for this is the will of Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Thesalonians 5:18

So, I did and then, an amazing thing happened. My attitude began to shift. I remembered how blessed I am to have all of my children and of the job that God gives me daily to raise them and love them and teach them. I remembered that the quiet moments of the morning are a gift, BUT so are all of the other moments of the day. The moments of yelling and hitting and screaming and yes, even whining are all gifts.  I remembered how close I came to losing one of those gifts and while I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that I have NO quiet time today, I can choose to harumph and grump my way through the day, or I can cherish the gifts that I have and the moments with them.  They are bound to pass out at some point, right?!?

UPDATE:  Same day 10:32 AM (CST) 2 passed out about 8 and slept until 9:30 and the other 2 are asleep now.  Crisis averted...quiet time still came. Sheesh...and you were so worried!

Coming clean

You know that woman that you see each week at work or church or in the grocery store? That woman is many things. She is a mom, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a Jesus lover, a cook, a gardener...  She has so many roles...  She has feelings and hopes and dreams and secrets.  She wants to live her life for Jesus, and more than anything point her kids to Him, but keeps stumbling down the path, the path that she keeps trying to make straight... There are big stones (boulders, really) there to trip her up, and rifts as deep as canyons, but she keeps trying to move forward, just to fall back again.  She can't help but wonder... how do you point them to Jesus, how do you teach them the truth, how do you ensure their salvation when you trip and fall daily over the stones of judgement, jealousy and selfishness, then land in the rifts of despair, depression and bitterness?  This isn't going to be one another one of those quaint little blogs about how to lead your kids to Christ or how to impact the world for Him, that you may read and be so encouraged by... Nope. This one is different. 

This is my story, my christianity, the good, the bad and the ugly...oh, can it be ugly...

I'm not the perfect Christian, leading the perfect Christian life, where the kids always look neat and clean and have their bible verses memorized, where the door is always open and ready to receive guests with tea and cakes and a dazzling smile, where reaching the lost, caring for the poor and down-trodden and pointing them to Jesus is the top priority, spoken of every chance we get...

I'm struggling just to meet with Jesus myself.

How do you teach your kids the importance of that time, of making God the priority when YOU don't even do it yourself, when you get caught up in the mundane of daily life, when all you crave is more help from anyone who is willing. 

This is my reality, but more importantly, it is my quest to be REAL. To invite you to get to know me (as I get to know her, myself), the real me, the un-made up version (because let's face it...make up is just too much trouble).  This is the tired, struggling, exhasperated me, the one that every once in awhile wants to throw her hands in the air, storm out of the room and "hide" in the darkened corner of the bathroom (did that just this weekend) and GIVE UP!  I know that is when you are supposed to give it to Jesus, I do, but this isn't one of those blogs that ties up it's ends nice and neat into a trite little package.

NO, this is REAL.

Oh, don't worry too much. This isn't going to be where you throw open the shutters to find that I am immodest, immoral or prone to cursing like a sailor.  This is just where I 'fess up and admit that I am NOT perfect (c'mon, admit it, you thought that I was) No?. I do not have all of the answers (I don't even have half of them).  There may be snippets of wisdom thrown in, but my intention will NEVER be to cause anyone to feel less of a person, mother or Christian.

This is me in my imperfectness, coming clean so that maybe you will leave encouraged, because at least you know of one person who is struggling, too.